Invisible

There's a certain invisibility that I feel. In almost every aspect of my life. It feels as though as long as I harbor these thoughts (or insecurities rather).. Of all the things I'm missing in my life.. Of all the things I wish I had.. Or want.. Or need. I'll be invisible to the life I have. 

I'm always thinking to myself. I wish I had her hair or her nails. I wish I had those shoes or was that skinny. I wish I lived in that apartment or had a boyfriend/girlfriend like that. These thoughts always rejuvenate sorrow within me. Because I have many things that no one else has. Why can't I just be happy with that? 

Because no one likes a work in progress. 

Everyone truly enjoys the final product. No one would pay to see a half finished movie, or stay content in a half renovated house. And although people claim they like the work needed to reach a final product... That's a lie.

 That shits stressful. 

But I can say it's worth it. The gratification is amazing. That swell of pride. Because all amazing things come with work and time. And when that time has come to a conclusion we unveil our hard work. 

Having realized this, I like to think of my invisibility as a necessary evil. It's like my cloak, my scaffold, my cocoon. Protecting me from the harsh environment. And now I just have to put in the work and time. And when that time has come to a conclusion unveil my butterfly wings.