Acceptance

I'm having a hard time accepting that my life is in such turmoil.
My relationship has all but ended, and it makes me feel so damn lonely.

I wish I could put it simply.. But it's so much.

What's wrong with ME?!

Every relationship I've had has failed. And I truly have yet to meet a man that treats me and loves me as I deserve.

It's heartbreaking.


Why can't I be happy without that? Why can't I accept and love myself? Why do I have such a need for someone else's love? It's all too much.

Maybe I read too much and I've placed my hopes up higher than they should be.

I don't know. I've been suffering from a hangover because yesterday was so soul suckingly horrible. I don't even want to take about it. It was out of control and truly the final straw in my already fragile relationship with L.

Even he later on admitted that he shouldn't be treating me or talking to me the way he does.
I couldn't help myself. I drank. To push t way, but the pain only intensified. And now I can't sleep. My body hurts. My soul hurts. I feel like a black hole inside.

Will things ever get better?